Monster in My Head

It took me a long time to share my last post, The Long Road Back, on my blog. See, there’s a monster in my head. Not the depersonalization. No, thankfully, Michael (my counselor) and I have worked out that depersonalization is on the retreat for now.

This? This is something stronger. Read Monster in My Head

What Type of Tattoo Would I Get? My Mom Got One…

I speak with my Mom every week to every two weeks.  Living on opposite sides of the world is hard, but it’s a little bit easier with the invention of Skype and FaceTime, WhatsApp and Apple Messenger, Instagram and Facebook.  Communication is so much easier now than it was when I first moved to New Zealand 20 years ago.

Anyway.  My Mom has been talking about getting a tattoo.  We’ve had this discussion a few times over the last few years: what type of tattoo would she get; where she would get it on her body; how big it would be; and so on.  It was something on her bucket list of things she wanted to do.  And, of course, I love her, so anything she wants to do, I support 100%.

Read What Type of Tattoo Would I Get? My Mom Got One…

Badgers, Swollen Streams and Snow (Oh My!)

Another weird dream from you-know-who (you all love me and my weird dreams, right? Right?)

Noel and I were walking through a field full of tall grass, the “flowers” grass puts out (that smooth, almost silky, growth at the top of a long stalk of grass); it stretched on as far as the eye could see. On the horizon, a storm was brewing. No lightening or thunder, but the dark storm clouds rolled slowly towards us. We walked slowly just the same.

We came to a stream, swollen by melted snow or maybe rain from the storm itself. Noel crossed it on a wide wooden plank, but I marvelled at how clear the water was, how it rushed by without making much noise, and how deep the stream was, only a foot or less from the bank. The grass went right up to the edge; there was no mud or slope, just a drop into the stream.

And then, two badgers, floating on their backs and holding hands or paws or whatever they have, glided on by, under the make-shift bridge then off into the distance.

I looked at Noel, and he said, “Were those beavers?”

“Badgers, I think,” came my reply.

And with that, another two, holding paws, came by, happy as Larry, floating down the stream.

Glancing further down the stream, I see pairs far down the winding stream. Shrugging and keeping an eye on the approaching storm, I cross the stream.

We keep walking until we reach a house. It’s an older house, a wooden one-storey farm house, painted white like the house we used to have next door to us on Wairakei Road. But this house was dilapidated, not taken care of, and we pushed on the door handle and went inside.

They were waiting for us. Jamie and his mother stood there and saw us and said hi. The conversation was somewhat muted — even in my dreams, I was still simmering with anger towards Jamie — and Leigh (Jamie’s mum) turned to complain about a new subdivision that went up across the street from them. The dark clouds still rolled over but now snow was coming down.

That’s pretty much where the dream ended.

So why am I telling you about this?

For some reason I checked on my Dreamer’s Dictionary on the symbols in the dream. I found:

The swollen stream represents the life force and how strong it flows through me. The badgers mean prosperity beyond my wildest imagination will come to me. Snow symbolizes wealth and the fact it will come quickly and without warning (basically when I least expect it).

So watch this space about that!