One of the side effects of the dissociative disorder known as depersonalisation, for me at least, has been the lack of finding enjoyment in many things I used to enjoy. This has been particularly disturbing for me, as, for those of you who know me can attest, it usually doesn’t take much to amuse me. That makes me sound rather simple, but, at one time, I would find enjoyment in something as simple as reading a book in my bedroom or listening to music while doodling on a piece of paper.
I am still out of love with Star Trek. I still am angry and sad about their draconian fan film guidelines, among other things. Their approach towards the fans is as if we can be pushed around, not consulted, and we’ll continue to throw money hand over fist at Star Trek with any product (good or bad) they put out there. And I have a choice on what I do with my money, and by not spending it with CBS or Paramount, whether by not subscribing to CBS All Access to watch the new Star Trek show in 2017 or by not snuggling up to a huge tub of popcorn and watching Star Trek Beyond in the movie theatre, I’m objecting with my wallet.
As a child, I remember my parents introducing me to Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Bones, and the Enterprise, these complex characters and graceful-looking starship soaring from planet to planet. I think some of the weekly aliens scared me, especially when they flashed them up at the end of the credits. (Balok, anyone?)
I didn’t understand the cerebral and more thought-provoking parts of the episodes because, as a child, you usually don’t have those parts of your brain developed until you start hitting adulthood. So it was good to watch as something fun as a kid.
It was one of my introductions to science fiction, and one I will always be grateful to my parents for introducing me to it.
There’s something liberating about acting. I think it’s getting away from the humdrum of everyday life, or playing an aspect of yourself busting to get loose, or portraying the growth or the downward spiral of a character for an audience.
I really got into acting when I was in high school. It was something I enjoyed, although, to be honest, I think my emphasis was more on getting the lines right than the motivation of the character or figuring out the weight the words should take. My youth and relative inexperience in life had betrayed me. I’d never been in love. I was busy figuring out where I wanted to go in life. I was trying to keep my homosexuality secret from everyone. (That last bit was a lot of wasted energy; the people who know me and care about me have been and always will be the people who supported me, whether in 1991 or 2013.)