Unwinding and Other Stuff

I hate feeling like this. Stuck somewhere between stressed out from work and totally unwound. I feel so utterly unable to just relax!!!

When I finally recompleted my degree here in New Zealand, I found I had a lot of trouble shifting down a few gears. I guess my body was so used to a few years of work and then doing homework that I really never had a chance for me and what I wanted to do.

Of course, this now swings the other way sometimes… so much that I want to do personally and then find when I get to doing them… I can’t be bothered!

Anyway, when I get to this point, I get a bit down. Maybe it is the change in the weather or all the stress ebbing away or some other cause, but I feel a bit blue!

On to other stuff… we had a fabulous time over at Jacqui and James’s on Wednesday night. Jamie, Noel, Dave O, and I went over from our place as Denise F from work was hairdressing James’s hair (what’s left of it… ha ha you bitch that’s what you get for honking the horn when I’ve got my head IN the mail box! BANG!) and then was doing Noel’s. We just had such a good time with laughing and carrying on.

Last night, back over at James and Jacqui’s for pizza night. Since Good Friday is a holiday in New Zealand, we decided to have pizza on Thursday. We had a good time with me teaching Charlotte how to play that hand game where you hold out your hands palms down while the other person has theirs underneath palms up and tries to slap you. Fun. Alas, I digress.

We had a good laugh because we have been having problems with a certain student at school (who has since left) and supposedly had her drink spiked in town and got raped as a result. (No we didn’t laugh at that.) Why I say supposedly is because she told us that; she told her parents she wasn’t at school because she didn’t like waxing; told someone else some other totally random excuse. In short… can we believe her? Anyway, we have been pushing very hard for a letter of withdrawal, which the government requires us to have. Long story short (too late) I called her father on Wednesday, and he said, yes, he had the letter there in his pocket. I said to him, “She did write it, right? You didn’t write it or sign it did you?” He said, “Oh no. No she signed it.” Jacqui gets it in — you guessed it, yet another different excuse on why she is withdrawing; she’s depressed (and no medical opinion to support this) — and it’s not even her signature! So that was what we were laughing at. How fucking dumb do people think we are?!?

Mysterious stuff… I have always had the feeling throughout the years that I would become a parent at 32 years old. My Mom and other people can back this up, because I have always said it. Not giving it much thought until now, as my 33rd birthday is approaching quickly, I realised we have Jamie now, and therefore, the prediction or feeling or whatever it is has come true. Scary! Sometimes it’s best to act on gut feeling I guess.

Speaking of 33rd birthday… just knock me into line if I get a Christ complex. Yep. I turn 33 on Easter Sunday. Jesus was 33 on Easter. What a coincidence!

As Noel would say… “Cross your feet. I only have one nail left.”

Weird Dreams

I had weird dreams last night, which is probably not different from most nights, but last night I remembered them.

One of them was rather personal so I won’t get into it (and to be honest, I can’t remember too much of it), but the other was rather strange and surreal and I will share that with you.

I was back in high school, but the auditorium/theatre was different. Instead of the seats going from front to back of the room (from the stage), they went from lower seats on the right to higher seats at the left. The proscenium arch was lower than in our high school, draped with rich red velvet curtains (the swoopy kind that are held back with gold braided cords and are longer than normal so they and their gold tassels drag slightly on the floor). Also unlike the original theatre, the seats were also covered in the same bright red fabric, almost as if they were taken from the Sapphire Princess and not the high school.

My brother Brian (as he appeared in the early 90s), my best friend John (also as he appeared in the early 90s) and I were participating in an American Idol-like competition. John and I performed some song (which I can’t totally remember, but I am pretty sure it was “The Aeroplane Jelly” song!!!) and got a luke-warm response. The theatre, admittedly, was quite empty.

The next group got up. They were brilliant. I felt a bit uneasy but the next song we were to sing was a Sheryl Crow song I liked and knew all the words to, so it would be great, as it was serious (unlike the nostalgic, somewhat funny Australian song we’d just sung)…until I went to talk to Brian, sitting towards the back of the sideways theatre, who had a list of lyrics from what I thought was a Nirvana song written in his notebook, and he was adamant we were singing that song, not the Sheryl Crow one.

Scary thing was, John didn’t know the song. Neither did I. But the funny thing was, despite normally being scared out of my wits during a dream like this — and I hate being unprepared — I was fine. I just got up there and let Brian do all the singing and mimed it like I was singing.

Maybe it symbolises that the stage of my life where I had such stage fright (although I never really showed it outwardly when I did perform) is finally coming to an end. It could also have been a follow-on from a quite serious talk Noel and I had with Jamie about things — his latest thing is his girlfriend has asked him to move in with her at her mother’s place, to which, understandably, both Noel and I are very upset and angry about — that 16 year olds should not entertain let alone do. Maybe the parenting side, where I really speak my mind instead of being a bit nice — and let’s face it, as Noel said last night, Jamie is my nephew by marriage, and I didn’t have to say yes to take him in — has kicked in as well.

We will see!

Better

Okay, I feel better now!

I had quite a few drinks on Friday night — this was after I found out every dick who got their driver’s license out of a Corn Flakes packet last month was out driving, James honked his horn as I was leaning into our mailbox (and I nearly smacked my head), and then everyone decided it was pick-on-Scott-even-though-he’s-so-glaringly-right night — and I think the drinks, for the most part, calmed me down.

Yesterday was a pretty easy-going day. I was doing some research on Wikipedia about different things and that helped me unwind a bit as well . Went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant called “Joyful” with the Andersons (Jacqui and James, and their children, Charlotte and Nicole; James’s brother Trevor and Trevor’s wife Mel and their son Scott; another one of James’s brothers Carl and Carl’s wife Michelle and their son Ryan and daughter Stacy; and Jamie) and it was great even if the food still comes out at a weird pace, we never did get any normal plates and the food wasn’t the best it normally is. I guess it was the company that made it fun so all was good. Of course, there was the obligatory jokes about the chopsticks (fighting like they are lightsabers, the pretend-its-stuck-in-my-eye trick, the drumsticks, etc.). The night ended with us enjoying the mild evening, talking as we headed back to our cars. And Nicole holding Noel’s 4-straw “TV set” he had made. She was fascinated by it.

Anyway… I am feeling better. Stress drained. Only 4 more days of work to go. So if I get through today without strangling Molly (Noel’s mum) as she repeats herself for the 7th time in 3 minutes… I’ll be okay! LOL